Against Myself, Repeatedly

“Against Myself, Repeatedly” begins with an act of care. Batur moves a bar of olive oil soap slowly across her body in a repetitive gesture associated with washing, cleansing, and tending to the skin.

The gesture continues until the rhythm is abruptly broken. Batur begins striking her body with the same bar of soap. The object, hand, and body remain unchanged. What had moved gently across the skin now hits it repeatedly.

The rhythm continues through the act of striking. With each impact, the skin reddens and the repetition becomes physically visible on the body. The soap carries the action from cleansing to punishment, passing between tenderness and force in the same hand.

Batur is both the person performing the action and the body receiving it. Care and punishment are enacted through the same object and directed towards the same body. As the performance continues, the distinction between tending to the body and disciplining it becomes increasingly unstable.

“Against Myself, Repeatedly” follows a familiar gesture as it turns against the self. Repetition carries care, discipline, and violence through the same cycle, leaving their effects inscribed on the body.